Fortune And Glory, Kid

January 18, 2010

Darksiders: Why You Should Go Buy It.

Filed under: Rant, Reviews, Uncategorized, videogames — Tags: , , , — feenwager @ 8:09 pm

This isn’t going to be a traditional review of Darksiders, plenty of other people have done that already and they all pretty much agree, it’s a really good game. I just finished it today and I can say it’s very well made, and I’ve enjoyed the crap out of it. Yes, it borrows from every other game you can imagine, but so what? Star Wars was practically a Chinese menu of other movies (a little Kurosawa from Column A, a little Flash Gordon from Column B), and we all know that worked out pretty well, didn’t it?

I've got stuff from about eight different games in here. You'd need a fire breathing horse to tote it all around, too.

The real reason you should plunk your dinero down to purchase Darksiders is because it’s a real game from a new developer, and God knows we need to support them.

Think about it for a second. We’ve all read the stories about the amount of layoffs across the videogame industry in 2009. One thing I can guarantee you is that these layoffs will not staunch the flow of Carnival Games, iPhone games, and licensed garbage being shoveled onto the Wii. What is far less likely is that the next Dead Space will get the eight figure budget it needs to get off the ground. That’s where companies like Vigil Games become so important. Joe Madureria formed Vigil because he has a passion for games, and because he had made a name for himself in the comic book field, Vigil was able to secure enough financing from THQ to turn out what most of us would recognize as an actual video game.

I don’t want to go all Chicken Little on everyone and say the sky is falling, but it’s not out of the realm of possibility to expect that with the rise of Natal, whatever Sony is calling their waggle wand, and the continued Wii steamroller, the type of game that most of us know and love could become a very small piece of the overall gaming pie.

Don’t think this is possible?

Really?

Remember when Flight Sims were all the rage?

Yeah. Me either.

January 5, 2010

In Which We Return To Talking About Videogames…

Filed under: Reviews, videogames — Tags: , , , , , , , — feenwager @ 8:32 am

To the 141st character…and beyond!

Man, that Twitter sure sucks the life out of blogging, doesn’t it? We definitely loves us some right now do we not? Why spend the time to sit down and craft some cogent thoughts and phrases when we can just cut it down to 3:05, as a wise man once said? Oh, well. Such is life in 2010, I guess…whatcha gonna do (brother) about it?

2010?

Wait…what?

Does that mean?

Yes. It does.

Well…crap. I guess that means I owe you some year end awards, doesn’t it? Ok. But only because you asked so nicely.

So let’s go, shall we? Allow me to present to you the 3rd (maybe, I’m too lazy to go check) Most Asbestos Of The Year Awards.

In case you’re new here, instead of giving out hackneyed “Game Of The Year” awards, I give some type of award to every game I’ve played in the past year, so this doesn’t necessarily mean that everything on this list came out in 2009, only that I played it in 2009, capeesh? And, we’re off…

Halo 3: ODST:

The Well, The Mini Firefly Reunion Was Nice…But The Game Left Me Cold Award.

The Elder Scrolls: Oblivion:

The I’ll Be On This List Every Year Because You’ll Just Keep Trying To Get Into It And Fail Award.

Monkey Island Special Edition:

The It’s A Great Game, But You’ve Bought It About 67 Times Now, Moron Award.

Sam & Max Save The World:

The I Really Wanted To Love It, But Something Was Missing Award

Fallout 3

The Best DLC Even Though It Totally Re-Wrote The Ending And I Hate Retro-Continuity Award. (Side note: I finally read Spider Man: Brand New Day this year. Wow. Just…wow. Incredibly, incredibly stupid. The only Spider Man story I can imagine that would be worse would be if they made the Vulture have a daughter and they called her the Vultress. But nobody would be dumb enough to do that, so I guess we’re fine, right?)

Ghostbusters:

The Not Funny Enough To Be A Movie, Not Fun Enough To Be A Game Award. (Shame, really. I wanted to like this one)

Eternal Sonata:

The I Got Zero Achievement Points, So Clearly I Knew This Wasn’t For Me In The 1st Five Minutes Award.

Banjo Kazooie – Nuts & Bolts:

The I Know Game Reviewers Retroactively Decided To Like This Game, But I Think They Were Right The First Time Award.

Infinite Undiscovery:

The See Eternal Sonata Award.

The Last Remnant:

The I Really Should Give Up On Japanese RPG’s Since They Obviously Don’t Want Me Playing Them Any Longer Award. (Special Achievement for biggest loser of a main character of the year. Either save the world or don’t, but stop fucking whining about it)

Arkanoid Live:

The Seriously, Dude…Stop Re-Buying This Game Award. (I do still dig Arkanoid, though.)

Peggle:

The Gabba Gabba, We Accept You, One Of Us Award. (The hours I’ve wasted on this game. Goddamned Peggle. Grumble, grumble)

Resident Evil 5:

The Hmmm….That Really Came Out This Year, Huh? Wow. You’d Think I’d Remember It More Considering It Was The Sequel To One Of My Favorite Games Of All Time Award.

Dash Of Destruction:

The Best Free 180 Achievement Points In A Game Based On Doritos Award.

Assassin’s Creed:

The I Know I’m Ridiculously Late To The Party, But The Sequel Looked Really Good Award.

Assassin’s Creed 2:

The I’m Glad I Plowed Through The First Game, Because This One Is SOOOO Much Better Award.

Also, the Calzone! Panna Cotta! Spaghetti! Award for ridiculous Italian accents from most of the characters. (Loved this game, by the way. More, please)

Shatter:

The My Favorite Little Game Featuring God-Awful Techno Music Award. (Go play it, it’s really cool. But bring your own tunes, unless um-chucka um-chucka is your sort of thing)

Trine:

The I’m Pretty Sure I’ll Like This If I Play It For More Than 5 Minutes Award.

Dragon Age:

The BioWare Still Gots It, Even If “It” Is Really Brown & A Little Rough Around The Edges Award. (I probably spent more hours on this game than any other this year)

Ratchet & Clank – A Crack In Time:

The We Don’t Need A Silly Award, This Is Still My Favorite Series Of All Time And This Game Was No Exception Award.

Also, the Fuck You Jonathan Blow, THIS Is How You Do Time-Based Puzzles. Braid Is Still Pretentious Claptrap Award.

Brutal Legend:

The Sigh Award. (I can’t talk about this game any more. Go listen to the latest Squadcast. I pretty much got it out of my system there)

InFamous:

The You Had Me Right Up Until The End There Award. (Seriously, who thought that the last hour of that game was a good idea? Anyone?)

Flower:

The Whoa, Dude…You’re Like The Wind And Stuff Award. (I think I needed to start taking drugs to fully get this game)

Batman – Arkham Asylum:

The I Liked This Game WAY Better Than The Completely Overrated Graphic Novel Of The Same Name Award. (Who knew a Batman game could be really, really good?)

MLB: 09 – The Show:

The I Liked This Game All The Way Up Until The Yankees Traded Me To Texas Award. (F you, Cashman. Prick.)

God Of War Collection:

The Oooh…Pretty Award. (This is how to do re-releases. Everyone pay attention, please)

Uncharted 2 – Among Thieves:

The Clowns Over My Death? Award for packing more fun into it than any other game I played this year.

I know I’m not giving a “Game Of The Year” Award, but if I were…let’s just say that a copy of Uncharted 2 needs to be in every developer’s office going forward. Really, if you’re going to rip anything off, start here.

That’s pretty much it. If I’ve left anything out, it’s because I either forgot or it just didn’t make my radar. Also, I left out portable games because I never seem to finish any of them. I did, however, finally finish Chrono Trigger on the DS this year so I’ve got that going for me…which is nice.

I’m stumped for how to wrap this up, so I’ll just remind you to listen to the Squadron Of Shame Squadcast, follow me on Twitter, and for God’s sake, put on some pants.

Peace, everybody.


February 23, 2009

New Review Zoo

Filed under: Books, lasagna, Movies, Music, Reviews, Sports, videogames — feenwager @ 3:42 pm

Comin’ right at you.

It’s been a while since I did one of these “bullet-point” type of deals, and I don’t have any real pressing topics top of mind at the moment, so I’ll clean out the ol’ mental closet by sharing my thoughts on some stuff I’ve read/watched/played/heard/eaten recently.

Go.

  • I loved The Wrestler. I wish it had won some Oscars but at the end of the day all that matters is that I enjoyed it. Did anyone else notice that the version of Round And Round by Ratt they use isn’t the regular studio version we’re all used to hearing? I wonder why?
  • I’m not the biggest Bill Maher fan in the world, I think he takes the snark a little too far, but Religulous was pretty great. It uses the time-honored documentary tradition of “Take crazy person. Put camera in front of them. Get out of way.” and runs with it.
  • Finished Sly 2: Band Of Thieves last night. A little late to the party? Yeah, considering the game came out in 2004. Still, they don’t make platformers like this any more (which is a discussion for another day), so it’s worth going back and playing the games I missed. Overall, a terrific game, but I thought the last “task” you’re given was lame, and it sort of brought the endgame to a screeching halt. Not Meat Circus levels of frustration, but it could have been better.
  • I made an amazing lasagna. I love lasagna. Three meats: ground chuck, hot italian sausage, and cheese & garlic sausage. Five cheeses: mozzarella, ricotta, romano, parmesan, and asiago. I could eat it for a week and not complain. In fact I may just do that.
  • Joe Torre needs to send a fruit basket to the reporter that leaked the “controversial” passages from his book, The Yankee Years. After reading the whole thing, there really isn’t that much there. Maybe he pulls the clubhouse curtain back a little further than you’re supposed to, but not by much. Plus, if you read the book it’s pretty obvious he had almost nothing to do with actually writing it. Tom Verducci wrote a book about the Yankees and Joe Torre acts as the “brand”.
  • Don’t Mess With The Zohan: nothing you haven’t seen in every other Adam Sandler movie, but I chuckled more than I thought I would.
  • I was really excited to read Rogue Leaders: The Story Of Lucasarts right up until the point where I actually read it. I can only assume the book was produced as a vanity project to sit in the lobby at the Lucasarts building. There’s very little in the way of new information, and crappy games like Podracer get as much play as Day Of The Tentacle. Definitely not worth $60.
  • I like the Cohen Brothers as much as anyone else, but Burn After Reading simply wasn’t that good. The first 45 minutes are a snooze fest, and then it just gets all screwy without really being funny. Brad Pitt is pretty good, but all of his best parts are in the trailer.
  • I’m two gardens into Flower. It’s cool, it’s sorta zen relax-y, man…but it certainly ain’t the game of this or any other year. It’s nice as a chaser after playing something intense, though.
  • Thanks to Papapishu for turning me on to Boxer, an MS-DOS frontend for OS X. I’ve been revisiting chestnuts like Sherlock Holmes: The Case Of The Serrated Scalpel without having to get my backslash on. I love it when a program just plain works.
  • If you aren’t already listening to The Exploding Barrel Podcast, please do. The Minotti brothers are a fun bunch, and they’re good people.

I’ve also been watching a lot of TV. This post is getting long enough as it is, so I’ll probably save that for another day.

Also, so Rocgaude stops bugging me: There isn’t going to be 2008 music retrospective. I tried, honest, I did. It just boils down to this:

That’s pretty much it. I’m fairly certain that I bought other music throughout 2008, but none of it really resonated enough with me that I felt compelled to write about it, so that should tell you something.

As always, thanks for your time.

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