If you read my Most Asbestos Awards yesterday, you may have noticed one glaring omission from the list of games I played in 2009: Modern Warfare 2. No great conspiracy here, I simply hadn’t gotten around to playing it yet, so I couldn’t comment on it. I fired it up last night, and today I finally got to play the mission “No Russian”, which has apparently caused some controversy (although not as much as hoped, more on this in a moment) since the game’s release. While I’m sure folks more qualified than I have already weighed in on this subject, I felt compelled to have my say as well.

Spoiler Warning: If you haven’t played the game, and you don’t want to know what happens, stop reading now. There is no way to discuss this without just putting it all on the table.

Ok, here’s the deal for the folks who haven’t (or won’t) play it: In Modern Warfare 2′s fiction, you play an American Private 1st Class who has inexplicably been selected to go deep undercover to befriend a Russian warlord named Makarov who is apparently a Very Bad Man™. Your mission briefing says to “Follow Makarov’s Lead” and then the mission starts with elevator doors opening, and you find yourself with two other men and Makarov in an airport. Makarov turns to you and says, “Remember, no Russian” and then the four of you open fire on anyone and everyone in the terminal. As the player, you don’t actually have to shoot anyone, but you’re not allowed to do anything to stop it, and your only options are to join in the shooting, or simply walk through the level in first person and watch Makarov and his men kill what must be hundreds of innocent people, seemingly enjoying themselves. The mission then takes you outside where your group shoots its way out of the airport, killing scores of police and soldiers (where eventually you have to start shooting or the mission never seems to advance) before Makarov finally turns on you and kills your character, who he apparently was on to the whole time.

Obviously something about this mission (and the game itself) bugged me, since I’m taking the time to sit down and write about it…so what was it? I don’t find myself outraged, or disgusted, or any of the other buzzwords I would use if I were a guest on Fox News discussing Modern Warfare 2, but I was definitely bothered by it, and even borderline offended.

A brief side note about me using the word offended. If you know me at all, you should know it is nearly impossible to offend me in the traditional manner. Salty language, boobies on tv, using “black people like fried chicken” jokes to sell your product…none of this bothers me. I can understand why some people get upset over certain things, but as a rule it’s easier to just take it for what it is and move on.

So what exactly about No Russian did I find offensive? Three things, really. It’s manipulative, lazy, and irresponsible. I’d like to take each of these point by point to show you what I’m talking about.

It’s Manipulative

I don’t like being treated like I’m stupid. It makes me absolutely nuts, like calling Marty McFly “chicken”. When a story deliberately manipulates me to try to make me feel something, I take it as being treated like an idiot, and I’m immediately offended. There were a million more creative, effective ways Makarov could have been introduced into the story as a Very Bad Man™. They actually could have even used the same airport scenario, but simply framed it as a cut scene, used a news broadcast, or even military briefing to set the stage and explain why he’s the villain of the piece and the player should really want to end him. Making me participate in the slaughter (even if I didn’t fire a shot, which I didn’t) is simply trying too hard to be “edgy” and to make me feel something as a player, as well as being a blatant grab for headlines and controversy.

It’s Lazy

From a storytelling perspective, the entire scene makes no sense. I’m playing a Private that five minutes earlier was just showing Afghani militiamen which end of a rifle to hold, and now I’m being sent deep undercover on a mission to…do what exactly? It’s not really explained. Makarov is really, really evil and he must be stopped. So you’re going to be his best friend and get close to him so we can…what? Kill him? Ok. I’m standing next to the son of a bitch with a gun in my hand as he’s about to murder hundreds of innocent people. Howsabout if I put a bullet in his brain right then and there? If I’m not there to do that, why the crap have they sent me undercover in the first place? The entire scene is there simply so Makarov can kill your character (whom you’ve had all of 10 minutes to become invested in, so no big deal there), and prove that he’s not only a Very Bad Man™, but he’s also currently one step ahead of the good guys. Obviously, if you killed him before the airport sequence, the game would be very short…but that’s not my problem, is it? If Woody had gone straight to the police, blah blah…write a better story, guys.

It’s Irresponsible

I must be getting old, but I’m finding that “gritty realism” (which I’ve sort of poked holes in via the paragraph above) in my entertainment is getting less and less interesting to me. The world is a harsh place, and it seems to get harsher every day, at least if you want to believe the nightly news (which I don’t, but that’s a whole other story). Give me Night At The Museum over Green Zone any day of the week, and definitely give me Assassin’s Creed (which has plenty of killing, but it’s all set against a backdrop that is stylized and much brighter in tone) over Modern Warfare.

Setting a level of a videogame in an airport and asking a player to kill innocent civilians during a time when very real assholes are attempting to do the same thing on a regular basis is extremely irresponsible to me. I’m a huge proponent of free speech, and Infinity Ward has every right to make whatever kind of game they want, and to tell (however poorly) whatever kind of story they want. I just assumed that maybe if they’re smart enough to design a game that is technically pretty amazing, and is actually relatively fun to play as a shooting gallery, perhaps they would simply know better.

Here’s the deal: Modern Warfare 2 was going to sell millions of copies regardless. No Russian is the kind of transparent cry for attention that I would expect a lesser developer (or Rockstar) to try in order to get people to notice their marginal game. It doesn’t need to be there, it doesn’t add anything to the experience (hell, you’re given an option before you start the game to skip the mission entirely), and in the end I don’t think it even really generated that much controversy. I feel like Mass Effect got more media play for its silly sex scene than Modern Warfare got for an airport massacre, which I guess paints a picture of what is completely wrong with our values and our media, but that’s a rant for a different day.